Normal Man Marries Oblong Girl

Pop Quiz: Name the who was sent to Military school in the 9th grade and was offered a football scholarship to play football at West Virginia but dropped out, Nick Cannon, Chris Pine, Channing Tatum or Jake Gyllenhaal?

Celebrity Sighting: Heidi Klum and kids eating Big Macs at McDonald’s. Hey, I don’t make this stuff up. … Katy Perry spotted in Malibu, riding a bike on the beach path and wearing her braces. Katy only wears teeth braces when no cameras are around. … Serious non-sighting, Kanye West has not been seen in months, been reports he’s at Betty Ford; other reports that he’s had a total mental breakdown.

These will make you feel great to be an American, a Pentagon big wig tells me our F-35 fighter Jets are 8 years ahead of any jet that China or Russia has. Another reason to be glad you live in America, in North Korea, regular lawn grass, is harvested and sold in stores as a vegetable, bon appetit.

The biggest problem in New York City isn’t guns, crime, rats or even the high prices, it’s bedbugs. The whole city is over ran with the little biting varmints, their everywhere and by the billions, even in 5 Star Hotels.

Odds and Ends: People talking about Johnny Depp’s wild spending, however he’s also gone from just being annoying to a jerk. Friend say, He treats everybody like crap, even his best old friends are starting to avoid him. … Almost all service dogs are trained to do what their special needs masters need, but also trained to recognize and point when they smell explosives.

Chicago Tribune Headline: Normal, Illinois and Oblong, Illinois are 500 miles apart, when 2 coeds from those towns met at the University of Illinois and were married. Chicago Tribune Headline screamed, “Normal Man Marries Oblong Girl.”

Answer – Channing Tatum.


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